Harry Potter and the Garden Snake
by AndThenThereWasOne
Summary: Harry Potter comes across a snake in his aunt's garden. Confusion ensues.


A/N: Hello! I'm Keitii, or Kei, but I really prefer being called (and will, from this point on, refer to myself as) Squidlet. This is the first fanfic I've managed to complete in the history of forever... I suppose the fact that this is a one-shot helps, yeah? Anyways, this was written just for fun and was inspired by a picture on a website that is an awesome place for warm-fuzzies. I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR TINY SNAKES. Just the idea for this fanfic. This is in no way, shape, or form ment to offend anyone. Please don't take it seriously. My friend YaoiFTW (you know who you are) and I were just messing around Wednesday afternoon, and I'm publishing this two days after. You can see how much thought went into this.

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It was a sweltering summer day as the sun beat down on Privet Drive. A ten-year old Harry Potter lifted his eyes from his aunt's garden and wiped the sweat from his brow. As much as he'd like to take a break, he knew he wouldn't be allowed into the soothing shade until he was done. His aunt watched him from the kitchen window like a hawk, daring him to trample even just one of her precious flowers. If he did a good job, though, his Uncle Vernon would take him to the zoo with Dudley and his friend for Dudley's birthday.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something move. Not thinking, he grabbed it with a gloved hand. After all, part of the gardening job included keeping pests out of Petunia's plants. He had expected it to be a rat, a mouse, or some other sort of vermin out to destroy the plants, and thus get him confined to his room without supper for a week. Instead, he was very much surprised to find a snake. It was a small snake- probably no longer than his thumb and not even half as wide- with dark scales. He stared at the snake, wondering if he should simply relocate the snake, or get rid of it entirely. Perhaps if it was a bit bigger, it would be able to do more good than simply eat the smallest bugs it came across.

Harry was still pondering this question when a surprisingly deep voice spoke to him, surprising him and almost causing him to drop the tiny snake.

"Man, what you lookin' at, fool?" The snake was now coiled around Harry's index finger, glaring at him as it held on for dear life. "You best be careful wit' me, son, or I'll swallow yo' finger whole!"

Harry could only stare open-mouthed, in shock.

"What? You don't speak snake? Man, what's wrong with you?"

It was at this point Harry found his voice. "I guess I do speak snake. I mean, I can understand you. I was just, er, surprised. I didn't expect you to talk to me. I didn't know snakes could talk."

"A'ight, man. It's cool, it's cool." The snake said pleasantly as it bobbed its head. "Now put me down, man. I got stuff I gotta do, know what I'm sayin'?"

Harry could only shake his head in confusion as he set the weird little snake down. In the blink of an eye the snake had wriggled it's way into the shelter of Petunia's violets, and Harry could no longer see him. Petunia was nagging him from the window, wanting to know what it was and why he had been talking to it, warning him that if it was anything 'freaky', her husband would surely hear about it. Harry decided to chalk the whole experience up to the heat. It caused a hallucination, making him think there was a tiny snake speaking to him. Even the voice calling out "Peace, man!" that floated up from somewhere among the rhododendrons was a hallucination.

That night at dinner, Vernon announced that he had been unable to get Mrs. Figg to watch Harry that day as she had broken something or other in her body tripping over one of her numerous cats. Vernon and Dudley were obviously unhappy, but Harry was secretly pleased. He managed to stop basking in his joy long enough to hear his uncle threatening him. He didn't know what all this 'funny business' and 'freakishness' and 'unnaturalness' his aunt and uncle kept mentioning, but he couldn't help but think of the snake from earlier. But that had just been a hallucination, right? Harry swore up and down that nothing would happen. After all, snakes couldn't really talk…

Or could they?

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So... what did you guys think? Good? Bad? I should go fall in a hole? I didn't have a beta to keep me in check, but I hope it's fine all the same.

~Squidlet


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